Just got back from a week of training and retreating.  Good times.  I am so thankful for time when I can have few responsibilities and I can really relax and not have any guilt feelings about it.  One afternoon I had absolutely no concept of what I would be doing, which was totally what I needed.  I ended up playing 4-5 games of NHL ‘09 with Rod, Johnny B, and Chris H.  Each evening also included some intense floor hockey in the gym — I don’t play enough normally.  And the skill level of the staff guys is so high that I really do get a full sweat going even if I’m playing forward or goalie.  To cool down on a few occasions I played ping pong with some of the guys as well, and I didn’t realize that Paul Malicki, Jon Baelde, or Jamie Strickland were so good.  They aren’t even Asian…. but I guess if you put any competitive guy with some sort of competitive game, they’ll get really good at it.  I didn’t like to admit it, but Jamie took me out at like 21-9 or something, so I humble myself.

After driving back from Bancroft, I went for a car wash to get all the dust and salt and dirt and snow off of the van.  There’s this place like 50m away from my house that offers self-serve spray wash (coin-operated).  It’s $4 for 4.5 minutes… that’s actually pretty expensive I think, but in the end $8 for a soap cycle and a rinse cycle is pretty decent since I got to clean it myself and they provide towels to wipe or buff as well.

I also went and picked up my MacBook Pro from the Mac Clinic since they had finished servicing it.  Now I have a new keyboard and top plate (the whole top surface including the keyboard, speaker panel, and trackpad.  So the keyboard and trackpad work now, and there’s no more parts slightly popping up or anything.  No charge, it was covered under the warranty.  I’ll likely purchase the extended AppleCare though, because I want this machine to last at least another 2 years…

And then to close the night I rented “Walk the Line” from the iTunes Store and watched it in bed.  What a great movie!  I didn’t really know anything about Johnny Cash before watching the movie.  What made me watch it was seeing a scene from the movie while at Staff Training, however.  It intrigued me enough to want to watch it, just from that one scene about “singing as if it’s your last song”.  However, most of the movie is pretty stark and dim about life and I felt heavy-hearted during all the scenes of marital tension and breakup.  That is so hard to watch.. But it was so well done.  The movie also redeemed Reese Witherspoon from the image I have of her in her previous movies.  To know that Joaquin Phoenix and Witherspoon both actually sang those songs for the movie is remarkable.  Mad respect.

Yay… I get to sleep in my own bed again.

How does

Katy Hudson become the Katy Perry of mainstream “award” material?

In some ways, it breaks my heart.

Today has been one of the best days in a long time.  Mentally, spiritually, experientially.  Allow me to explain.

In this post I explained an analogy I learned from Bible school called “the music of the gospel”.  Succinctly, if the music is the gospel, we as Christians should respond naturally to the gospel instead of awkwardly (and unnaturally) just doing the actions that we know are right.  Just like one might sing or dance or move their body to music, we are to read the Bible, pray, share the Gospel, among many other things.  I’ve always grown up knowing the Gospel and knowing the right response, but not actually (or entirely) allowing the Gospel to drive the responses.

For the past few months, I’ve been mentally and spiritually confused and frustrated because I wasn’t sure whether to read or pray regularly since I didn’t always “feel” like doing those things.  And I wanted my response to the Gospel to be pure and correctly motivated.  So at some points I withheld myself from reading my Bible, and prayer became dreary.  I felt like if the Gospel had power in my life, it would change me and motivate me to respond.

At some point in the past couple weeks I just resigned myself to reading my Bible each morning before opening my laptop, a bit sullen that it had to come to that (ie. just doing it because I knew it was good for me).

Today as I was talking to Chris about the balance between God’s sovereignty and His love, I realized something about the role we have in responding the Gospel.  Despite flaky emotions that sometimes desire God and sometimes do not desire God, I can desire BY FAITH as an ACT OF THE WILL to read his Word and pray and respond.  This is actually both a mental and emotional decision because deep down, I actually have a conviction and desire to love God and his Word.

According to the analogy, by choosing to read God’s Word and praying daily, we are “putting on the headphones” in order to listen to the music of the Gospel.  Without listening to the music, I am not able to respond naturally even if I wanted to.  I could imagine or think through what I remembered about the music, but there is no substitute for the music itself.  I must keep myself regularly reading the Word and praying in anticipation of the work God will do in my life through the power of His Word.

Furthermore, when we listen to the music, we will all respond in varied yet proper ways.  Some will dance, some will sing, some will sing differently.  However, together the responses are to complement and harmonize each other.  There are some things that are common responses, but there are also unique personal responses.  Hearing and responding to the music of the Gospel is to be done in community, so that when I lose track of the music, I have the harmonies and melodies of my fellow believers to help me back in.  Perhaps, you could say we become intertwined in the music of the Gospel.

This new personal understanding today has now freed me from the frustration and confusion I had before.  It doesn’t matter if in the morning I don’t feel like reading the Word: I have a desire and conviction that knows by faith it is good for my soul and it needs to be done.  I am not relegating the emotions to the wayside; but instead I am recognizing them, addressing whether the emotions are in line with my faith, and being obedient to what God has called me to nonetheless.

I do find it intriguing that this was clarified for me after I decided to just get back into the Word consistently even without knowing all the answers.  God does reward the faithful.

I liked today.  I biked to school in the cold frigid late autumn that is Ottawa.  I had 3 very encouraging and valuable conversations with dudes who I’m working with at Carleton.  Two were about similar things, but I know both conversations were very tailored and personalized.  I felt very prepared for those meetings.

I ate a stirfry from the Res Commons Oasis caf, and the dude (Nassem) served me twice as many vegetables (I just asked, can I get a bit of both kinds?) and did a good job, even if it took a while.

I was quite tired and so during the prayer time in the afternoon, I almost fell asleep.  Gotta watch out for that…

Had the chance to drive one of my students from work with me to Young Adults at the Met.  I brought vanilla ice cream with me “to-go” in a coffee mug and ate out of it as I drove.  David (the student) was quite amused.  It was my dessert after dinner!

After Young Adults, I had the chance to play bass for the first time in like AGES.  I was told that I’ll be playing bass for next Thursday… I had forgotten!  And the crew I’ll be playing with sounds absolutely and totally talented.  I’m looking forward to rocking out with them.

I listened to Sebastian Demry’s version of “Your Name” as I drove home afterward.  Part of the song is in French and I think I’ll be putting more French into my Ottawa U worship sets gradually.  I’m quite excited about that as well.

When I arrived home, I realized I drove home with the parking brake engaged the whole time.  I had not heard it because of the pumping music.  You know that feeling?  “Ugh… dang…. I can’t do anything about it though”.

Right now there are a few things that still need to be done for tomorrow.  But I think I’ll leave it for tomorrow.  I want to sleep before midnight for once (the past week or so has been late… because I’ve been reading Brisingr!)

This video clip gives you an awesome glimpse into what the Coldplay concert felt like from my view!!

Coldplay Live Lovers in Japan Oct 20, 2008 from Silas Wong on Vimeo.