For a long time I’ve dreamed a bit about leading worship regularly.  To stand in front of many people and lead them to sing out not to me, but to God.

I have had my moments, memorable ones such as leading on bass in high school youth group for one song (that was before I knew how to play guitar), playing piano for a worship set with a bunch of youthful talented dreamers called Accounted 4, leading every Friday with Heather for C4C at Guelph for a year, singing at Trevor and Lauren’s wedding, leading in Sudbury which was broadcast over the radio, singing around campfires, leading at various staff trainings and campus days, leading at Priory Park.  It is almost surreal to think back and remember how many people have been affected through that.

Is it a bit unrealistic to say that I would like to do that full-time?  I have a lot to work on, but maybe one day that would be my job.  And it would make me very happy and satisfied.

There are days when I think this is just another passing phase.  However, I remember when I was 14 or 15 and attended a worship conference and Tim Hughes was there — he didn’t do much talking but he directed the whole time with his music and passion.  That was the first time I had heard the song “Blessed Be Your Name” by Matt Redman; since then I’ve had to sing that song with a lot more experience in my belt having had more given and more taken away.

Recently, as in for the past couple months, every single week that I’ve been able to attend church on Sunday I’ve had someone compliment my singing.  One lady came up to me to ask if I could sing at a memorial service (Judy).  A man wanted to sit near me because he enjoyed listening (Victor). Another lady, who has a husband and two kids sitting near the front row, turned to me after service and thanked me (Rose).  Another older lady encouraged me to join the choir (not my cup of tea).

You see, someone in my small group commented on how he needed to prepare himself to be ready for worship on Sunday by playing worship music in the car on the way to church.  He would actively orient himself to God to be prepared once he stepped into the Lord’s house.  I have been consciously doing this a bit more lately and it has helped me to realize that it doesn’t matter who’s around me, that I can sing loud or sing harmonies or just listen to the congregation, and God knows what’s in my heart.  In the end that’s what matters, more than the comments I may get from others.

In January I had cut back from helping out with playing bass for Sunday worship.  I think the time is coming when I return to help out but ask to serve in leading.  We’ll see how that goes and if it is in God’s plan. Maybe this will become more of a reality in the next year.

What do you think about this tie and shirt colour combo that I wore on Wednesday night at the Carleton year end banquet?

From Blogger Pictures

Dang… I spent the past few minutes rolling up the rim with my teeth (you know you do that) and realized I was rolling on the wrong part of the rim.

Dang… didn’t spring forward.

What do you do when you’re sick?

I find that with a decreased amount of energy and having headaches, I don’t desire to do much.  I gravitate towards mindless activity such as watching some online tv episodes, watching movies, etc.  I don’t usually desire to read.  Or cook anything particularly labour intensive.  What easily results is vegetable soup or cereal and milk.

Some things I crave while being sick: ginger ale (we’ve got lots), my pillow.  I also kind of crave congee but I have no clue how to make it. Maybe I should pay a visit to the Chinese restaurant with the stairs to get some familiar food. Or T&T to get some grass jelly and chrysanthemum juice.

On the upside I’ve been bored enough to do some much-needed paperwork.  Reimbursements, health care forms, etc.  Hooray for money back!