Finished up, but no peace
Done exams now. The last one was the toughest I’ve ever written, I think. I don’t think I completed a single question. But for that, I rest assured that I needed 7.5/75 on the exam, or 10%, to pass the course. I really just want the credit, because meteorology is interesting, but I have discovered that I am just way more passionate about other things than environmental sciences to consider grad school or a full-time job in the field.
Played Capture the Flag (heh yeah Ben, more like Capture the Towel) in the Arboretum. I took it as an opportunity to break out the camouflage paint and cover my face, neck, and hands in black paint. Many people commented that I appeared like a floating smile, since my teeth were so white in comparison. Unfortunately no pictures, but great memories of crawling around with Carts, climbing a tree and yelling “Van Damme!”, and capturing the flag in the tie-breaker game and running like the wind to just before the river, where Laurel tagged me. How often do you get the chance to get to run full-tilt in the dark in full-camouflage?
Things are shutting down around here. Everyone’s leaving. My roommates are all gone, although Mark and Jason are returning on Monday for their last exam. New graduates are leaving, packing up what they’ve filtered out of the things they’ve acquired over the past years in Guelph.
It leaves me a bit scared, actually. It is the feeling of being ‘left behind’. That so much will change, because integral people in my life won’t be here next year. I’m not sure if it’ll make me want to cry… rather I kind of want to curl up in a corner and let my head sink. Or sleep and pretend nothing is happening. It’s not that I’m totally sad. This feeling is more about… uncertainty about the future. That’s one reason why I can’t give a sigh of relief after exams.
The other big reason is support raising. I still need to raise 3/4 of the funds necessary to go on project, let alone for the full summer. This is making me scared and anxious, and I’m starting to feel the same stress as when an assignment is late 2 weeks. I need to make phone calls to supporters to follow-up the letters I sent them, and it’s really intimidating in my mind.
So to somewhat attempt to combat this feeling, today I got my immunization for hep B, and on Monday I will get another one for typhoid. And I also shaved my head. My plan was to shave my head before going on project — now that it is shaved, I’m hoping that it will make me even more committed to going, so that I will put more effort into support raising and follow-up. I’ll be in Guelph for another week and a half, because this is the address I’m telling everyone to send support to. Please pray that God will provide… everything.