I’m so tired. I tried working on my meteorology assignment. I left it till the last minute again. Started it late, and fell asleep at 1:30am and it wasn’t done. But at that time, sleep was way more important.

The weather has been amazing out lately, and I wish I could bike more. Or take a walk. Just enjoy the outdoors. I did it yesterday, took a ride through the Arboretum, but if I did that today I’d feel really guilty. This assignment isn’t going to write itself. I hope to finish it before the FOP weekend.

What is it that the sun does to people? Case in point, whenever I see Romesh now, he’s off the wall and happy and overjoyed that the sun is out. He said, “It’s like the sun has been hiding for four months, and now it’s peeking out!” I can’t deny that the sun has an influence on people’s emotions, as everyone is happier and spending time outside and enjoying themselves. I don’t understand why it takes solar radiation, a collection of energy ranging from ultra-violet radiation to infrared rays, peaking in the visible spectrum at 400-700 nanometres, to make someone smile. But it does.

There are two things that I can observe that are a direct result of the nicer weather.

People are starting to bike again. I remember just a few weeks ago, when I was one of few people biking - Me, Jason, Bayden, those two professors from LRS, and a few others. Now, everyone and their mother is out biking. Heck, even Alex and Mark, my housemates, are biking. It is really nice to be able to just get on the bike and go, without having to put on a balaclava and ski goggles. As the fair-weather bike season begins, I think it’s important to make it clear to everyone: wear a helmet! If you don’t have a helmet, buy one! It is imperative that you wear a helmet, even if you think it looks dorky, because it will save you. Even if you are riding on the sidewalk, it is possible for a car to pull out of a street unexpectedly, and you might not be able to brake in time. Helmets save heads. They are designed to protect a watermelon in a drop test, so they will save you in the event of a collision.

Speaking of safety, thanks Mere for getting me brake cables. They’ll really come in handy (heh, no brainer). I’ve been riding without hand brakes for about two months, and it hasn’t been an issue, as I have my trusty Flintstones-style foot brakes. I will probably need to get some new brake housing as well and a brake noodle for the v-brakes, and clean the v-brakes so they actually offer resistance, and true my rear rim, so I’ll have to do that next week sometime.

Oh biking.

The second thing that is quite obviously a result of spring, is that people are beginning to wear less clothing. And I mean, a lot less clothing. Especially girls. There doesn’t seem to be a reasonable transition between full winter coats, leg warmers, winter boots, and fur hoods; and thong sandals, tank tops, and mini-skirts. I think the only article of clothing people are dressing up with (as opposed to dressing down) are sunglasses. So here we go again, in the part of the annual cycle when it’s time to be on the constant lookout to make sure we aren’t looking. Suck it up, guys, and make sure the only person you’re ‘watching’ is yourself.

With spring also comes the buds and leaves on the trees, and flowers blooming. If you’ve ever spent a summer semester in Guelph, you know how beautiful it is here at that time. If there’s one thing I like taking photos of, it’s flowers — they don’t move, they don’t say anything, they don’t complain or become self-conscious, but they definitely boast their vibrant beauty with every non-word they can summon up.

Do I seem really relaxed right now? I’m actually on the brink of freaking out. I blogged because I don’t know how I’ll finish this Met assignment. Somehow, I’ll finish it, I know, but I wish it were finished right now. I should have thought about that feeling last week when I had more time and less anxiety.

Hardly ever do I get angry at things, even if it’s personal or repetitively annoying. But today, even after a wonderful day of performing some music in class, ST meeting, two-for-one time, and getting homework done, something angered me as I was going home. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and I had to make sense of it somehow.

I saw a friend, who is now in 2nd year, smoking outside the UC. That doesn’t sound too unusual, but this was one of the few people at Guelph who I’ve known since childhood and church, and when he came to the university I figured he was in good hands and didn’t get in his face too much. But to see this young man, who I had not expected to see chilling outside smoking, really angered me. I was angry for him. What the heck is he doing? When someone starts smoking, I think it is a reasonable assumption to think they are beginning to compromise parts of their life. I didn’t make eye contact for very long, but as I walked by, I felt like running up to him and tackling him and wringing his neck out and punching the living daylights out of him in order to knock some sense into him. I wanted to say to him: “What the heck are you doing!!??? Why are you doing this to yourself????!! Who do you think you are?? When did you decide that polluting your body with unnecessary carcinogens was a reasonable thing to do???”

But I didn’t. I have no experience doing anything that upfront or bold or rash. Those techniques seldom seem to work. However when I see him next I will confront him and give him a piece of my mind.

This is when I begin to feel older. About a month ago I told some kids in the neighbourhood to stop shooting a hockey ball against our garage door. A few weeks ago I confronted our next door neighbours for knocking on my window with a long stick from their window. I recently realized that kids who were born in 1987 or even 1988 are now in residence, thinking they’re all cool as get plastered every Thursday night underage with their other underage friends. And now to realize that I’m starting to care about the youth, about the formative years of high school and early university, and how they treat their bodies. Previously, I would have categorized myself along with this bunch and not thought to say anything.

Perhaps this is one reason why old people are so overwhelmingly stubborn and outspoken (some of them). They realize that it really doesn’t matter how they look or sound when they are telling others what they think. They have an unreserved freedom to speak their minds because they know (sometimes) what they’ve experienced in the past is important, so it’s worth addressing the present and its issues.

Last night was the birthday party for tons of people. Last year we had 5, this year we had 6, but there were technically 9 people with birthdays this past week. Me, Vicky, Emily, Tim, Becky, Katie, Kristen, Jason, and Dave. Probability-wise, that’s insane. Party-wise, it’s more insane.

Thanks to everyone who came out to the party to demonstrate your support and everything. It was really enjoyable. I think that the effort that Graydon and Jason went to get Becky’s video working was formidable; Katie really enjoyed it, as did everyone else. I would have helped, but my primary focus at that time was to get some haircutting done.

I shaved Ben and Ryder’s hair, and gave Tim’s hair a trim. Unfortunately I didn’t get my hair cut as well, but that’s ok. I totally understand if Beth was too tired to cut my hair, or to have her hair cut. I’ll probably end up getting my hair trimmed this week though, as I am feeling like it’s getting long. The reason why I don’t cut my hair is that I have to take off my own glasses to do the job, which means I would be cutting blindly. Before when I shaved my hair every two weeks or so, I would cut my own hair, but now I want to keep it longer. In grade 8 or 9 I tried cutting my own hair and it turned out to be a disaster and my parents had to shave my hair off, so I’ve learned my lesson — I’ll stick to cutting other people’s hair, and leave my own hair to another barber.

This morning was an early wake-up. Since I was leading worship, I got up at 7:30 in order to bike to the church around 8:30 and make photocopies of the music and transparencies. It’s times like these that I really wish I had a vehicle, so that I could move equipment and myself around at weird times when there is no bus service. Nathan and I had pre-moved equipment on Saturday, so all I needed to do was pick up a little bit of food for the band, since I know it’s not easy getting up early on Sundays and leading worship on an empty stomach. We had a rockin’ good time, including a rendition of Amazing Grace that was really pleasant and fitting for today’s incredible weather. I had some really good comments about leading worship from congregation members, which is always encouraging. And received my very first support cheque for North Africa Project! Exciting!

Leading worship, which means leading a band as well as the church congregation, is not an easy task. I enjoy it a lot, but admittedly it is really draining physically. After I got home, I really wanted to spend some time outside by going for a bike ride or a walk or something similar (I might have even asked you to join me) but instead I laid my head down on my pillow and…. that was my afternoon. I woke up to a warm setting sun on the western horizon peeking through my window, casting the shadow of the window frame onto my bedroom wall.

Raccoons are making noises out in the backyard.

This has been a really transforming day, I think. It’s not that anything profound has really happened, but in combination, everything together is profound, beautiful, and visionizing. So I have decided to thank God and thank tons of people for stuff. I feel like that is what I need to do — think about thanking people.

Thank you Daddy and Mommy for getting me this laptop and wireless mouse and external hard drive. I am thankful that I can write blog posts about life while sitting in bed, right before I go to sleep. I am thankful that it is whisper quiet right now, and there is no loud and high-pitched whine of a computer fan audible enough to make noise when I desire silence. I am thankful that I can bring it to Campus Crusade and let it be used for ministry purposes.

Thank you Gahjeh for giving me a package on Topical Memory System, so that I can learn to treasure God’s word in my heart. I am thankful that you gave me something spiritual for my birthday, since I only had asked for mostly physical… or physical needs.

Thank you Mui for giving me a hand drum and a box of Mini-Wheats. The box of cereal kept me going strong for a few days, and the drum… well I’ll put it to good use in some drum circle one day.

Thank you Mike for listening to me. I feel like I am going on and on about the same things, but you are patient and you still want to hear me out.

Thank you Ben for the baby-blue collared tunic. It means a lot to me, and it has a lot of emotional connotations written all over it. I am thankful that you gave me a ‘thoughtful’ gift.

Thank you Heather for the sketchbook. I have been wanting to write about intensely personal and blog-unworthy things in my journal for a few days, but could not since my old journal filled up on Saturday. Thank you that you thought and still kind of think that I’m 23. That confusion means a lot to me. Thank you for being so organized and patient in getting the band stuff all ready each and every week. Thank you for knowing your limits, and telling me that I have none. And then telling me that I have limits, at other times.

Thank you Peter, for listening to me share my fears and anxiety about dealing with change. Thank you for providing me with ideas on how to keep in contact with people who are graduating and leaving, but making me feel like crying after our talk. I thank you that I can understand what it means to mourn and cry and express emotion, because I think that I will be doing a little bit of that in the next few weeks.

Thank you Kirsten for being so encouraging about many things, including project. I am thankful that I will be spending a good chunk of my summer with you. I am thankful that you want to be stuck with me on an 8-hour plane ride across the Atlantic, so that we can talk about bikes and bike parts and bike selection and bike building and bike passion, among other topics.

Thank you Meredith for being who you are. I am thankful that I am able to share my passions of design, biking, photography, music, and leadership with you. I’m thankful that you trust me so much.

Thank you Jill for making music class utterly hilarious. I am thankful that you are accompanying me for my Pachelbel composition, as well as my 12-bar blues improvisation, as well as my final composition. Also, I am thankful that I get to accompany you for your pieces.

Thank you Isaac and Matt for letting me into your house. I am thankful that you taught me to play Rummicu-whatever for the first time and let me win. I am thankful that you are willing to light a couple hundred candles in a bedroom and have spontaneous worship time.

Thank you Middletone for going home this weekend. I am thankful that you can get rest and sleep in a home that is not bacteria- and animal-infested for a short while in order to recuperate from illness. I am thankful that since you went home, 3 guys at Crusade stepped up and ran the soundboard and the powerpoint and cued each other to get a really good sound mix. I am thankful that you are the prayer co-ordinator next year, because I am confident that our ministry will be saturated in God’s blessings and control.

Thank you Graydon for sharing my wings, and sharing your pasta. I am thankful that you are honest about how you are passionate about things. I am thankful that you admit you would take everyone’s keys away when it is my intention to give everyone a key. I am thankful that you have built a strong men’s ministry vision, and have found guys who are committed to following through with it all. I am thankful that when I stand in front of the net to screen the goalie, it is you who is shooting since I have never been hit by the ball in the package since your shot is accurate and powerful.

Thank you Drew for driving me around today. I am thankful that you understand the joy of being a chauffeur and of serving other people by giving rides and such.

Thank you God for the gift of friends and family and relationships. Thank you Lord for demonstrating your love for me through the love that others provide. I am thankful for where You have put me in the past few years, this year, and next year. I am excited for all You are going to do, if this past year has been any indication of your work.

In advance of that, I am thankful.

I was thinking just tonight about how far we are willing to go if something is really worth pursuing or doing.

For some people, getting a good mark on an exam is worth staying up all night studying. Ashley said it was worth skipping skating on Thursdays if it meant we were meeting up to talk about leadership stuff for next year (there aren’t many Thursdays left in the semester). For the most part of the night I biked around to New House and Awesome House dropping off things for Ben, Turnbull, and Graydon because I felt that it was important enough to throw on my gear, get on my bike, and boot it over. I also biked over to Jill’s to practise our Pachelbel “Canon in D” variation compositions, because I feel like it’s an important thing — we’re performing our 8 bars of melody to the class next week. And it’s late right now because I felt it was significant (and late) enough to just get cracking on my support letter writing for North Africa so I can send them out as soon as possible.

But it’s not always this easy to distinguish between what is or isn’t worth pursuing. Sometimes we feel like it’s not worth doing random evangelism in unusual places because we don’t want to offend someone or appear houndingly up-front. Or work on a paper until only 1am as opposed to 4am, because sleep seems way more worthy than 10% off of 25%.

I don’t think I’m quite hitting the nail on the head in terms of what I’m trying to figuratively hammer down. However, right now I feel like the farmer who found treasure in a field and sold everything he had in order to buy the field to have the treasure, or the man who found a pearl and did whatever he could manage to do in order to acquire the pearl (malicious and immoral techniques aside). Except I’m also doing everything I can to be sure and make sure that the treasure or the pearl I’ve found is worth sacrificing everything else for.